ketz12's blog

A Selfish Request

93 Days before Birth Day.

Yes It's Is my birthday on the 24th. I will feel the same again.

Hoping that it will not be sadder than the past few years.

Those persons I cherish the most would be the one who will remember

that special day of my life.

The day when I was "Born".

 

My heart will feel the emptiness and the pain.

Yet I will cover it with smile and laughter

Becase No One would understand why I am sad in that very day

 

I wont stop laughing and smiling till the end of that day...

I wont.. but when I go to that darkened room...

I probably need to let go and push away my tears....

 

I can't keep it I know.... But I have to be strong infront of those

people... :((

My Sickmate

    2nd year - 2009

    3rd year - 2010

 

    There was a boy who's name is derived from the month of july and similar to a roman soldier known to be one of the reasons for a great change in Rome.

    The first time I encountered this person was at my PE Class when I was in 2nd year college second semester. Actually, I never knew who he was. But when I saw him it felt like I've seen him somewhere already. I have this nostalgic feeling that I say to my self "I know this person". Time flew and I got a small moment of asking his school and if joins Contests. But I still didn't get the answer that I wanted to have. So I thought "Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm just wrong".

 

    The 2nd semester ended, I enrolled for summer class to finish the required subjects for summer. Unfortunately, I got separated in my second class which is Discrete Mathematics because the first schedule got no slots available. I started the summer class good. I got no doubts. and at the middle of the summer class.. I saw this person again. Hell, he's my classmate again.  But we never talk, we never cared for each other. I know. Then, the finals of the summer comes the instructor said to prepare atleast 5 pages for the exam. Well I prepared what the instructor said. then, at the examinations day, this guy came late, Looking for a bond papers coz he's missing some and here I am to the rescue I smiled and gently gave him my extra papers. Thats the first time he smiled and I smiled at him. The summer classes ended.

 

    Atlast It was already 3rd year first semester. Actually all of my classmates are nervous about the subjects coz they know it is the "Hell Year". Moving towards the story, There's this subject Database Management System. a Laboratory and Lecture class. Okay, There he is again, he's already my seatmate. at the lecture class. well not really we're on the same row but we have a big gap between us that is the path of divided chairs. This is the most critical part. At the laboratory class, we dont have any sitting arrangements yet so i sat anywhere I wanted to. He then sat also a seat a part from me and between us is a friend whose name is Rowell.  then this guy whos name is said to be related to the month of july asked "What's your grade in discrete?". I was shocked by him to talk to me for the first time and I answered. But then, he said it was high and such then rowell blurted out the grade of that guy which is higher than me... so i thought "What the heck are you trying to imply (>.<)"? Continuing, that guy said again "Wow..! DL" to me. and I was like "Nevermind that..." that day the list of DL is posted and I checked it on my own. I saw his name and he is in top 10 like number 5 or 6 if im not mistaken, and again I was like "That guy! he's getting in my nerves!". The semester continued and a lot of things happened. He always drops his pen because he likes to play with it and I always ended up picking it up for him and give it to him facing the opposite way. I just dont want to look at this boastful guy, really!. And throughout the semester I called him "Creepy Guy". until the semester ended., he added me on facebook and i never approved it until I saw him be friends with my others friends.

    The semester ended and Sembreak HERE I COME! well I added him in facebook already. the following days seems to be the usual. until he popped into my chat box in facebook and greeted me with hello. I answered back. the talk goes on until he wanted me to add him in Yahoo Messenger. I asked "Why would I add you?" (im not active in ym that time) "It's better if we talk there. than here" he said. Then I insisted him to add me not me adding him. but in the end.. I added him and he said "yay~!". That Night, we had a long talk, I even told him how I hated him so much and he answered with his reasons and said sorry for the first time.  Then there was this time I posted "I hate hospital nights". he went online. and then he again popped in my window and asked "ayaw mo din sa hospitals?" and I said yes. the talk continued until he reveals me the secret why he hate hospitals too. and I actually got overwhelmed that we had the same disease. here we talked about the a lot of random things, and until I got the name sickmate for the both of us. The Sembreak Ended.

    The 2nd semester started for my 3rd year everything went smoothly he's always there to catch me when im falling when a person L drops me. I am always thankful that he's always there. This time he always say "Magiging okay din ang lahat sickmate" and he keeps me up. I always said "Thank YOu".

 

    3rd year Summer, Okay here we started to play online games. we really had fun until we go to Fiesta online. Yes, that was really fun. until the 1st semester came and a lot of things happened. I still dont know what will come through. But I will Continue this after things done.

 

A Thank You for Living

Everything we face in the world are part of a whole.

It consists of challenges, people, emotions, belief and more.

we might not be strong enough to surpass those hurdles in our life

but think of it, you're still alive. which means you can still move on.

 

The right choices may not always be the best for you.

but in the long run it will then be a big benefit for you.

Some of the important things for you may fade away

Some of it will stay. and it's your choice to keep and cherish it.

 

It's because you are crying. It's because you are laughing.

Those are your proof of living.

It's because you feel your tears. It's because you hear your heart beat.

Those are your proof of living.

 

You meet other people. You chase down your path to your love one.

You bring out the best in you. You tried to change for the best

Isn't that a proof that you can still move on and keep fighting?

Believe in yourself and try to move forward slowly.

 

In time, you will realize that things are always in the right place

it just need time and proper understanding.

And if you already found its purpose and answered your questions.

this is the time where you will say "Thank You and I am Still Living"

A moment that I've been waiting for. Broken. Shattered like a glass of mirror. I know i can tag back the pieces. But I can still see the cracks in it.

I miss you so much. That's the truth

It Wasn't

In a dark room. I sat at the corner.

looking at the walls of the room. It's pitch black

my eyes were hurt. crying for like hours

It wasn't right. It wasn't good.

 

I was there trying to find one thing that will satisfy my needs.

I was not aware, I was not ready. All I know is that I am afraid.

Frightened till the end of my bones. I hear nothing. 

The rooms silence is making my eardrums rung like it was about to break.

 

Suddenly, the door opened.  A bright light shone upon me.

I was so afraid of the silhouette of a person. trying to reach out to me.

It took me a moment to reach up my hand to and she grabbed it too.

It wasn't for scary. I wasn't right.

 

As soon as I received that hand, as soon as I felt the warm palm of her

Everything lighted up. My room was brighter than it used to be.

It wasn't her who caused this change. It wasn't her doing.

But the truth is that it is me who always kept my self in the darkness

 

It wasn't intentional, It wasn't meant to be like that.

I just need someone to show me that there is still hope.

That I still have light in my heart.

That I can still shine like others.

 

Reasons such as being afraid drove me into that darkness.

I never tried to open it. It wasn't her who failed but me.

Now that things are done up to what I have now. 

I will try and show my Light that can help others Like what she did to me.

There's A Place For Us

We are strangers in our own ways

But we are good in many ways

We can be good or bad

Our mood to be happy or sad

But There's a place for us.

 

We dream underneath the sky

See the stars shine above.

We  seek peace infront of a calm sea

realize things such as mistakes and achievements

but There's always a place for us.

 

Alone in a dark place

Crying softly inside the corner of the room

Laughing like there's no tommorrow

Living our life to the fullest, like there's no ending

but remember there's always a place for us.

~We Can Be The Kings and Queens In a Place where We Are Who We Are~

This is The reality That I have been facing all through my life. I am being used :(

You're a Part of My Book

I am a writer, a writer of my book, of my life.

My existence in this world is not an accident

but an opportunity given by HIM.

 

And here I thought it is the same for you.

Your existence was never an accident.

This is destiny.

 

Meeting someone like you is not an accident

it's by fate or by destiny.

But I know You're already in my book.

 

My book still has a lot of blank pages in it.

You filled a few of it.

Memories I can't sell I can't lose

 

You wrote treasures in my book

I keep it in me knowing that I could protect it.

Yes, You made those pages meaningful

 

Time passed and we get separated.

Maybe its by fate or destiny

It's not an accident.

 

Distance is what makes us away.

But you know? You're still near me

You're still in my book. But I'm the one writing in your pages now.

 

I recall our memories.

We are still connected.

We are still friends.

 

I write the tiny memories I can gather

I try not finish writing coz I know there will be next time

coz I know we will still look forwrd to seeing each  other.

 

You're a part of my Book

you're a part of my self

and it's not an accident

 

-ketz12